Selling Something You Don’t Like Or Believe In? Like You?

 

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The best salesperson is representing a product they truly believe in and believe will be a benefit for you. As opposed to the sleazy type of salesmanship we stereotypically think of. Someone trying to pressure people into buying something they don’t want and which won’t be a good fit for them, just so the sales person can make money. It then is not about building a relationship or helping the client, it is only about the sales person.

But for a good sales person, they listen to what you want and need, explain how you would benefit from their product and don’t push you into something that isn’t going to make you happy you have it in your life. They are in fact, highly informed about their product, probably know the answers to all of your questions about the product, and sincerely think you will enjoy their product because they think it is great. They have already thought through how much you would like it too.

In fact, when it is a good match, we are excited to work with the sales person to acquire it. And we will probably tell others about our new find so that they can enjoy it too. We probably will thank the sales person for helping us learn about the product and how to get it.

So when someone is trying to sell you something you don’t want or don’t find valuable, doesn’t that make you frustrated or angry? Just the vibe of the pushiness or scent of desperation will usually turn us off before we even know what they are selling. We are already plotting our exit.

Now how about when we don’t like or believe in ourselves, don’t see our own value. But we spend great amounts of time trying to get others to like us. Aren’t we trying to sell them a product we don’t believe in? In fact, if I think it is an inferior, defective or useless product, won’t I come across as insincere, desperate or even lying? Won’t I actually make you want to run the other way?

So maybe you’re selling to the wrong person. Maybe the one that really needs to be educated about the benefits, limits, bonuses and good fit of knowing you — is you! If you think you are a lousy person, your times is not valuable, and you can’t imagine why anyone would want to spend time with you, people will believe your opinion. After all, you know you best. And if you think you aren’t worth the time, well, we have to believe you’re right.

So maybe it’s time that you do a more unbiased and compassionate assessment of yourself as a not-perfect, but definitely worthwhile person. You get to interpret you according to your opinion. Take a look at yourself with new eyes, a fresh perspective. Give yourself credit for all of the things “right” with you and don’t be so quick to over-emphasize your negatives (according to you).

In fact, think about how you would describe you if you were your best friend. What are things that you really like about you and your personality? Are you honest, funny, loyal, supportive, a good listener? Whatever you think of, write it down. Writing it down helps it to be real to you. And makes it easier to assess and remind you of the really good reasons to be your friend. Starting with you. Not looking for perfection, just honesty, compassion and validation.

Then, when you start liking you, it won’t be as important for others to value and validate you. The best validations are home-grown, they come from you. Because you are the one who has to live with, believe in and be proud of you.

When you are happier with you, you will be happier. And so will the others in your life. Start writing that list now, keep it varied, keep it handy, and read it often. Especially until those qualities are firmly implanted in your mind about what makes you the wonderful you that you are.

 

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