Ever have an image of yourself that is really not you? In your mind, you think you are the epitome of some supposed negative trait, so you are always doing the opposite, trying to avoid being that thing.
For example, I tend to, for whatever reason, think that other people think I’m flighty and reckless. Perhaps because not everything I try comes out well. Perhaps because I have done and tried things others might not. Some think that’s positive, some don’t.
So often, in an over-compensation for that (as in most of the time), I will second guess myself, running through every scenario I can imagine, trying to decide the best (aka: perfect) choice for the best (aka: correct) outcome. This seems to be the way to not be flighty but to wisely consider and make the best choice. Yeah, right!
So essentially, we (come on, I know some of you are nodding in agreement) make the act of choosing a decision about something into a life and death moment. As if all of the rest of our life’s outcome is based on this. And sometimes, we even take it to the next generation’s outcomes too.
So what happens? Do we make a better decision by hashing, rehashing, nitpicking, micromanaging, rinse and repeat ad nauseam? Does all that second-guessing (and third-guessing, and so on ….) lead to perfect decisions?
Nahhh. It leads to paralysis of the choice muscle. And anxiety. And increased ideas of what could go wrong. Until your decision is made by lack of movement. Which does not actually lead to relief, but instead leads to another circle fueled by the regret of decisions and actions not made.
You have put yourself in the no win/no way loop. Most decisions in life are not really that life or death important. Except life or death. So consider it. Allow there may be more than one good choice. And consider that it’s probably the hamburger/hotdog dilemma. They’re both tasty, greasy and will reduce hunger. Neither will be the last decision you make. Choose one and move on.
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