I was watching a video of Brene’ Brown the other day and she was talking about how to recover from being shamed. She mentioned three things she suggests to help. These are things I commonly tell friends, clients and myself. It’s nice to hear that someone with that much research background confirms that these things are useful. Everybody likes to hear they are doing the right things.
I believe they not only work on refuting shame but on learning to treat yourself as if you were “enough.” That can be a big step toward a healthy acceptance of yourself which can give you the courage to build a healthy lifestyle and many other positives in your life.
Some things can’t be repeated enough. They are simple to understand, more difficult to learn to do consistently. But worth the effort. So here’s the three suggestions.
Begin to speak to yourself as you would to a friend, a loved one, your son or daughter, with less judging, more love and compassion. Treat you as if you deserve respect.
Find someone who is trustworthy and share your burdens with them. They can bring encouragement, courage and strength. There is something powerful about having someone stand with you.
Find safe people willing to listen to your story. And keep telling your story. Till you don’t need to tell it anymore. There is healing for you and for others in telling your story. Who knows who else needs to hear your story or how many times you need to tell it to be healed. We learn from stories. And that has gone on for centuries. Before we put them in books, we told them out loud. And it bonds us together in our humanity.
Just for now, start with these three steps.
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