Rescuers tend to follow their heart (read as do whatever the other person needs – all the time), which works very well for those who are “Takers” and want to keep being enabled. As a rescuer, you can be so caught up in the others emotions, or so overwhelmed by your own emotions, in addition to trying to “put out all the fires” that your head, your mind, has nothing to do with your life anymore. You totally lose your perspective. Keeping you off kilter all the time is what keeps you from making good decisions.
What if you stepped back from the chaos, and aligned your mind and heart? What if you gave yourself the time to realize that most of these “fires” you are putting out might (purposefully or not) be set by the person you are devoted to helping? Or maybe by you? Or maybe both? What if you examined who you have become in response to the constant chaos?
Are you actually being the person who lives according to what you believe? Are you setting an example (to yourself, to your children, to your family, to others) of what you believe? Do you believe in being a healthy person? It does not start with your rescue-ees; it starts with you (and me). When we begin to realize we are standing in the fire – we can begin to make healthy choices. And get out of the fire.
Do you smell smoke? 🙂 When was the last time you mentally/emotionally stepped back from a situation and got better clarity? Did it change your focus or actions going forward?
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