Do you have people in your life that make you wonder how they can be so selfish? Maybe you are repeatedly amazed at how they can so easily ignore your feelings, treating you as if you don’t matter.
Or do they flip-flop between charismatic charmer and cold as ice. Or hair-trigger angry rage over insignificant discussions? Maybe they charm you then accuse you of ridiculous actions, possibly even something they were doing – like flirting with others or making hurtful comments?
I’m not talking about the person who has occasional lapses in thinking of others, like “I forgot to let you know I’m running late” or “I forgot your birthday/anniversary,” but who generally is caring and considerate. And I’m not talking about how many selfies they take (although, it can be part of the package).
Seriously Selfish Person – SSP
I am talking about what I call the Seriously Selfish Person or SSP. This can range from the way-above-average selfish focus, all the way to the extreme selfishness of the personality disorders, including the Narcissist. Someone doesn’t have to be diagnosed with a disorder to wreak havoc on other’s lives and emotions.
We all have our moments of selfishness, it’s part of being human. And certainly children are inherently selfish at times, an example of the process of maturity, that’s normal. As we mature, we learn to look at life through other peoples’ perspective; extending empathy, sympathy and compassion.
There are some people though, who never do move to this perspective, at least not for the most part. Or they may fake it sometimes, when it is convenient or advantageous, but not on a regular basis with those who are close to them.
I’m talking about those whose extreme selfishness is not because they are young and inexperienced or immature. This is about people whose selfishness is a way of life. This can be for many reasons, which we will discuss later in this series.
The Seriously Selfish Person or SSP can cause a great deal of pain in social and work situations, and particularly in relationships. So I think it is high time we look at: how to identify them, how they affect us, and how to deal with them.
The easiest way, of course, is to avoid them. That however is not always easy or even possible, so we will look at a number of options in the upcoming posts.
Most importantly, we’ll look at how to survive and/or heal from interactions with them. Because even though Seriously Selfish People – SSP’s think it’s all about them, in this series of posts, it’s about time it’s all about us! At least some of the time. 🙂
Have you noticed some SSP’s in your life? And how have you dealt with them?Feel free to share in the conversation over at my Facebook page – Click Here.