Living small in the middle of the yard, away from the edges & boundaries, not getting a no because you never wander that far?
Do you ever feel that you spend a lot of time trying to decide whether to do this or that? Trying to decide which choice is the “right” one? Do you sometimes feel that you are praying and not hearing a yes or a no, wondering if anyone is even listening? Do you actually remember the last time you heard a “NO!” Me, either.
I’ve been stuck in as they say “analysis paralysis” lately. I have several different choices to make or just stand still. And I have been driving myself crazy trying to figure out the best, most correct, exactly right answers. Needless to say, the only answer I’ve been getting is that I’m both frustrated and afraid of making the “wrong” choice. Here are some thoughts I’ve been wandering through as I got to the end of my energy around these decisions.
Are you a good listener? Do you pay attention or do you tend to do whatever you want regardless of what wisdom is shared with you? And then pay the price later? If you don’t have a history of making bad decisions that you regret, maybe you are expecting too much direction.
If you want a typed itinerary and explanation for every step of the journey, maybe you haven’t heard enough no’s to recognize the difference between free will and no. Maybe the reason you’re not hearing a yes or no is because really, it’s the “no” that we need to hear to guide us.
If we are doing what we believe in, if we have taken into account appropriate information and counsel, sometimes we just need to move forward. I realized that it has been a long time since I feel I have heard a firm no. Or maybe even a sarcastic “really?” challenging my directions and actions. I’m thinking this is not necessarily good.
Think of it like watching a three-year-old child. You don’t constantly tell them yes, every time they take a step, leaving them waiting for us to be their puppeteer. We recognize, as do they, that they have a certain amount of freedom. And they won’t hear much while they are in those safe “yes” areas.
In fact, they can run and jump and build and play, until they hear or recognize a place they’ve been told is a “NO” area. Or even a “you’re getting too close!” area of limitation. But what if we haven’t been there in a long time.
If we have a fenced in yard, we can think of that fence as an obvious boundary. We may have that so that our children know without a doubt where they are to stop. If they are young, we may tell them they can play anywhere in the yard, just don’t go outside the fence. So as long as they are inside that fence, they will not hear that “no”.
Now maybe we don’t have a fence, but we do have in our mind what the boundary is for our child, which gets bigger as they learn. So we will watch to make sure they don’t go past it, in order to keep them safe. If they go outside of that limit, they will hear a firm no from us. They may even hear a warning if they are getting too close, just to let them know before they are in danger. We want them to be able to play in the whole yard to enjoy it.
But what if they were so worried about a “no” that they did not really live and enjoy the “yes” areas, because they were always afraid they would be in the wrong place. Maybe they didn’t realize we would let them know before they were in danger. Or maybe they were letting their own fear take over.
I think I do that sometimes. How about you? Sometimes, especially lately, it seems like I have been living small. I have been sticking to the center of the yard, staying as far away from the edges as possible. I guess I hoped that would protect me from any harm. Not reasonable but sometimes that’s how we are. And how much joy do we take in living in a 4×5 spot of grass in a big ole’ yard? How much running and jumping and singing and dancing can we do in that little spot compared to maybe an acre of land?
If it was our child, wouldn’t we want them to enjoy the whole yard? Of course, we would! So maybe it’s time to put on our big kid pants, and bravely start moving away from the center of the yard. At least a little bit. At least enough to be able to spread our arms out and run around like a kid in a sprinkler during summer vacation.
Because living afraid in the center of the yard isn’t very fun. And it kills the little grass we do have. I think it’s time for me to start walking, just keeping my ears open for a no, but enjoying the freedom I forgot I have. Meet you over by the far tree with the water hose!
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