Life seems so short and so long.
I was at a three-day training workshop this weekend. It was enthralling, encouraging. And Exhausting!
As I listened and learned how much this could be used in addition to what I already know, I could see how much it could help the people I want to help. Isn’t that why most of us get into this profession? To help?
It also reminded over and over of how much our memories affect our lives today. What happened or didn’t, what someone said or didn’t, what we did or didn’t can so affect how we feel today. But it doesn’t have to stay that way. With the right help, the decision to let helpers help, and the willingness to try something different, we may be able to melt away memories that have chained us to pain for many years.
To have that happen, we need some things to happen though. We need to be looking for help or a change. We need to find the function of change. And we need to be willing to move out of our spot. Our known, comfortable spot. Or if not comfortable, at least familiar. Probably need to add some vulnerability. Which may not be easy if someone(s) have taken advantage of us in the past.
Admitting you’re not perfect.
For me that meant being willing to show my pain and the cracks in my sidewalk to the group. Think about doing that at a conference of over 100 therapists. You think we don’t get intimidated about our “baggage”? Wrong!
The other thing going on this weekend was that I lost two friends to cancer. One I had known and volunteered with for over twenty years, the other I didn’t know so well or about what she had walked through. But I do know that both of these friends had been willing to be vulnerable over the years, sharing their lives with others and making changes to move forward.
I had talked many times with the one friend about some abuses we had each suffered. We had shared some of the stories about hardships and hurts from earlier years. We talked about relationships that had been painful. We talked about choices we made that didn’t turn out well. We talked about choices we wish we had made sooner. We talked about wishing we had honored our own being valuable, as much as we had honored some other’s as being more valuable than ourselves.
Those hurts seemed so long when we were enduring them, when we were wondering what to do. And yet now, with those things in the past, the life in the light seems to have passed so quickly. I would encourage you that life, love and joy are available. But you may need to make some difficult choices in order to reach them. Both of my friends passed with loving family around them. Some of those people came into their lives later in their lives. And from all appearances, the gifts of those relationships were sweet.
I’m sure they all thought their time with their loved ones was too short but well worth the choices they had made. Life passes slowly when you’re in pain and quickly in joy. Don’t miss that joy.
Is it time to examine your life choices? Is it time to find help, examine the pain and make some changes? Don’t wait. I think I can say that my friends would tell you – don’t wait to get to the good stuff! Even if you have to admit to some painful stuff first.
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