Who decided that “not being you” was a better choice? And why are you still listening to them?
One of the wonderful things about our world is that we have lots of different. Different plants, animals, foods, weather and people. We even have different kinds of water and dirt. If you put fish in the wrong kind of water (saltwater or freshwater), they will die. If you try to grow a plant that needs sandy, quick draining soil into moisture holding soil – it will rot. Or the reverse, and the plant will dry up and die.
The same things happens when people are forced to be someone they are not. If you try to be someone else, you likely only won’t do it well. And you won’t be as happy and energized as you would being yourself, using your given talents and skills. Plus you are robbing those around you and the world of the joy and benefits of knowing the true you.
When someone else tries to push you into being a “false self”, it may be out of ignorance (expecting you to enjoy what they like). Or it can be their opinion of what is acceptable, best, or useful. It can be done with good intentions or bad.
But remember, you are the one who has to live your life, you are the one who has to take responsibility for everything you do or don’t do. And you are the one who is responsible for using YOUR gifts and creating the life you want to live.
The final decision is yours.
If it has been a long time since you thought about who you really are, here are some steps to get you started. Let’s try to go back to before someone else decided they should tell you who you are:
1. List characteristics you used to have as a child but you may fight showing now. Maybe you were a good laugh-er, or a bookworm, a creator or a take-it-apart type. Whatever it was, write it down.
Make the list first without choosing whether the characteristic is supposedly good or bad. Most traits have positive and negative aspects to them. That is what gives each of us our uniqueness and value.
There are no Best traits, other than what is best for you. We need speakers and listeners, we need accountants, musicians, scientists, artists, chefs, caregivers, organizers and more. And I don’t mean just the jobs, that is only a reflection of the person’s traits, what they love to do, who they are.
2. Choose from that list two or three (or add to your list now that you’re thinking) skills/talents/virtues/characteristics that you want to “revive” now.
Maybe you forgot how you loved to dream up stories. Or how good you were at asking questions, or laughing out loud or building things. Or how good you were at listening when people were hurting or upset. Or maybe you were the opposite – able to keep the fun going no matter what. Or the one with boundless energy.
3. It may feel a little weird or scary to start letting the real you show again. You can jump in with both feet or you can start small with people who know you and accept you. Or you can start with people who don’t know you and have no other expectations.
But DO IT! Because you need to be YOU. And we need you to be you!
Happy You Day! Because “Being You” IS being Cool!
What is one word describes what you want to be known for? For me, one would be listener. Even as a child, I loved people’s stories of their life. Feel free to share in the conversation over at my Facebook page – Click Here.