Yeah, me neither. Except….
Lately, (as in the last few years or decade) I’ve been working toward my goals. A major one was going back to school to become a counselor in order to help others not go through some of the pain I (and my family) have experienced in life from bad decisions, toxic people & relationships, along with not valuing myself & my abilities/knowledge. The path seemed pretty straight forward to me. And urgent, so that I would get to the point where I could make a living to support myself.
However, throughout this journey, that “straight line” has had many turns, bends and even loopty-loops. But I just kept plodding along, keeping my eye on the goal, just the way we’re supposed to, the way we’re told to in all of the stories about achieving goals, and especially in career track information.
Perpetually, I was checking my motivation, my skills, my idea about my calling, making sure that I was on the “correct” road. Even when big boulders came up to block the road and I had to climb over or shimmy around them to move forward, taking much more time than I ever imagined, I kept moving forward.
Goal dates came and went, plod, plod, plod. Frustration, crying and whining. Regroup, keep plodding, make it to next step in goal, rejoice, keep plodding. Stub toe, scream, keep plodding. Repeat ad nauseam. (Bored yet – I was!!)
Finally, I graduated, got a job (hurray!) and kept plodding toward the next step along the line.
Then it happened, but on a much larger scale, growing each day, not so fast as to alarm you. But enough that every so often you would catch a glimpse of your position on the goal attainment line and realize you were barely moving, if at all.
Later, this became not moving at all, other than to circle the porcelain bowl. It climaxed this week with me feeling that I was moving full on backwards, away from everything I was trying to achieve. Recently, after a couple of revealing conversations with some people whose wisdom I value, it triggered a revelation to me.
I had been digging in my heels, fighting with all I have, avoiding turning to the left or the right, keeping my eyes on the prize, bla bla bla! All admirable traits, except.
Except when it’s time to change course. Sometimes, you don’t give up your goal but you end up taking an entirely different way to get there. I was being directed, pushed, pulled and downright shoved to go down a detour. A detour that might afford me the opportunity to achieve some of my smaller goals much sooner. But I didn’t want to go there.
It also made it clear that my big goals were still farther off than I wanted to accept. While fighting against taking the detour, I was bobbing up and down, nearly drowning in the body of water blocking the road I was trying so desperately to stay on. I kept fighting, thinking if I just swam harder, I could make it happen – my way.
Apparently, it was time for me to get out of the water, dry off, and start following the detour signs. Because sometimes, you can’t get there without a detour. And sometimes you find things in the detour, that you never would have found any other way (I’ll keep you up to date on that later on down that road).
It may feel like I am having to double-back or go west when I want to go south, but I choose to believe that I am still moving toward my goals. And moving according to a plan from a higher authority than me. Just keep moving, moving, moving…..
If you’ve ever felt like you had to detour to get where you wanted to go, feel free to share in the conversation over at my Facebook page – Click Here.