I wrote this post a little over two years ago. It still applies. Except….
Do you ever find yourself thinking about your life and wishing for things to be different? A different house, a different job, a different city, different relationships, and so on? Most of us do.
For myself, this year (again) I have wished away the winter, wished for lots of differences in my life. But then when the possibility came up, I panicked. The fear raised its ugly head along with its twin self-doubt. Together the thoughts that then raced through my head were all of the replays of mistakes I had made in the past, and the “what ifs”. What if I do this and its the “wrong” choice? What if I make a mistake? What if I’m not good enough?
Hmmmm – heard that one before. What if? So what! What if I try something new and I fail? One of two things will happen. I will either find that it is not something I want to do. Or I will get up and try again, learning from what didn’t work last time. And again, and again, and again.
Because that is how change moves from terrible scary to wow, glad I did that. Because if you don’t try it, you will be haunted by the wonder of what if you had tried and succeeded. Because if you had never tried something new – you would never have found your favorites. At some point they weren’t your favorites – they were unknown.
If you’re going to be afraid either way, the only way to get rid of the pain of the fear is to go for it!
And now for the Update:
I wrote this post a little over two years ago. I felt like I had been running in mud for years and was now stuck like an desperate fly on the gooey yellow strips you used to see hanging in gas stations and cheap restaurants.
One day I actually said to someone I was chatting with – I need to do something wild and crazy to get out of this rut! She agreed, “maybe you do.”
Well, I did. I decided I had to start doing some things different, just to get some change going. Going different places, going different routes to my regular places, planning to be in some places hoping for change.
I had wanted to move make a big move to a another city and start a new practice there. I had been thinking about this for a while but didn’t have any way to make it happen. I decided to go there again to visit and fulfill some continuing education requirements for my licensure. I told myself, that way I’m spending only what I would have had to anyway.
I was blessed to meet with some people who were encouraging and empowering. They encouraged me to make a choice of what I wanted to change, purpose to find a way to make it happen, and look for the opportunity to show up once I had chosen to do it.
Well, doors did open, I did choose to move 900 miles and start from scratch. I finally leaped! I knew that if I didn’t try it, this was so deep a desire, that I would always regret it. I knew that even if I tried and failed, I would regret it less than regret I would have staying stuck in fear.
It wasn’t easy, I’ve not yet built my practice to as full as I’d like it and frankly, I had to choose to give up a lot. But I would do it again in a minute. I feel more alive and am more involved than I’ve been for more than a decade. I had done my homework enough to know where in the city I wanted to be. The people I’ve met have been more than helpful. There are tons of opportunities for growth, training and building professional relationships.
And I get to wear sandals (aka flip-flops) every day! I love it. Most days I finish exhausted, my to do list extends into next year and everything takes more work and time because it’s new (places, rules, opportunities). But I’m alive! I faced the fear and jumped anyway.
After so many decades of trying to get “safer” and more “comfortable,” it was time to get out of auto-pilot. And start being there, in the moment, living my life. That doesn’t mean I don’t hope to build some auto-pilot in or that I don’t want some comfortable too. But I’m trying to live in the opportunities and not the “what-ifs”. And it’s changed my life. Did I mention I love it! 🙂 I’m still learning not to run from the fear. But today I’m basking in the victory of running to the joy of fear overcome.
What do you want your leap to look like?
What is one word that describes the best thing you ever did when you faced your fear and did it anyway? Feel free to share it in the conversation over at my Facebook page – Click Here.